|Samantha (and Thomas)|
As far as the planning, we let them decide how much we should be involved—or not. One of our daughters didn’t want to worry about any of it; another had very specific ideas. It takes repeating over and over, “Here are my thoughts, but whatever you think, I’m good with.” And you have to mean it!
With our sons, at first I felt left out, not knowing what the plans were, etc. Then a wise friend said, tongue in cheek, “Don’t you know? Mothers of the groom are just supposed to wear beige and keep your mouth shut.” I found that to be good advice. It allowed our new daughter-in-laws to set the tone on how much we should—or should not—be involved.
The truth is, for both our sons and our daughters, we really didn’t care about any of the wedding details. We told them what we could afford and then let them make the decisions. They chose to marry in the temple, and all the rest is just fluff, as far as we’re concerned.
|Marsha (and Richard)|
The wedding itself had relatively no expense to it. We realized we should focus more on the ceremony itself than on the party afterwards. That’s hard to do when so much planning goes into the party. The wedding and the reception which followed worked together to produce a very memorable occasion.
One of our favorite parts of the wedding celebration was the wedding lunch or dinner. It was a time of sharing thoughts and memories by the parents and siblings on both sides. Music was included and the whole atmosphere was fun and tender. It was a great way to bond the two families and share with close friends. We relied on others to handle the food so we could focus on the event.
Usually the child being married was away at school during the planning. We coordinated with them on colors, what to serve, invitations, cake, flowers and the general feel of the wedding, but most of the actual details were up to me. Again, I got advice and help from friends, for which I will be eternally grateful! Thankfully, our children trusted our judgment and were grateful for the finished product. The wedding reception was a gift from us to them.
|Mary and Robert|
|Abigail (and Martin)|
|Jane (and Samuel)|
|Karen and Lance|
|Brianne and Spencer|
Our kids were really considerate. They each choose what was most important to them where we didn't scrimp - but we were careful in other areas. Mom did most of the work - two of them were in our back yard. The last one was in a reception center.
Next week's question: How much was the TV on in your home? Sometimes I feel like it hinders family bonding in the evenings, but I also understand the need to unwind and decompress from a busy day. Did you set any rules or limits on TV in the evenings? My children are 10, 8, 5, and 3. I do think the hardest one to convince on less TV is my husband though ;) [reader submitted]