Sunday, December 16, 2012

Sleepovers

Question: Did you allow your kids to have sleepovers with friends or cousins? Why or why not? What are your thoughts on this?

Summary:

I thought it was interesting that many people talked about the danger in sleepovers but the value in "late overs" or "late nights," so their kids could still do late night playing but with more supervision.

Answers:

Danielle and Jake

Sometimes [we did], and every time we did, it turned into a "What were we thinking?" moment.  We agreed to let them stay until midnight or 1 and call it a late night instead of a sleepover.  They are always cross the next day and usually things go on that are not appropriate for the standards in our home.

Mary (and Robert)

We allowed sleepovers occasionally but if I were rearing children now I would not.  Just this week we have heard of two men we greatly admired and trusted who have now become known to be predators.  This is a very dangerous time for our children and vigilance is essential.  I like that our grandchildren do "late overs" instead.  They allow a late party with the same types of activities they might have at a slumber party but parents come and take their children home before it is too late. 

We had a family we enjoyed and we spent time together in each other's homes.  The parents would play games into the late hours and the kids played and watched movies.  Eventually we settled everyone in a room together nearby and they all fell asleep.  When we were ready we gathered up out sleeping children and went home.  They felt like they had a sleep over and we had a nice time with friends.  No unknown activities or periods of time were part of the deal.

Marsha (and Richard)
We allowed sleepover with friends and cousins when our children were young but not when they got older – cut it off by 12.  It seemed there would be more temptations to go out and get into mischief at those older ages.  However, I would not allow sleepovers with anyone but cousins now.  I feel like with the problems with pornography, etc. you don’t know who you can trust with your child.  Even with really good “church going” people, problems surface and I wouldn’t risk it.  I also never hired young boys to babysit.  It’s just not a good idea.  Most young men would be really great babysitters if needed but no one knows for sure so I wouldn’t leave them in that position.

My children compensate for this with “late nights” where a friend can stay late but are taken home to go to bed.  That gives the children time to play under the supervision of the parents.  It’s easier on the parents also to make sure their children get a good sleep.

Rachel (and Bennett)
I was very particular when it came to sleepovers.  I needed to feel comfortable with the adults who were involved, and with the activities planned.  I let my children know that if at any time they felt uncomfortable, they could call and I would come and get them, which did happen a few times.

Cynthia (and Brad)
I did, but I wouldn't do it these days. There is too much potential for bad things to go on. Cyberspace and cell phone sexting. Kids get all kinds of crazy ideas when they are together, and the later at night, the worse the ideas get, and this adds huge potential for trouble. Also, I think I was too pollyanna. Now I hear about all the sex abuse that goes on, sometimes even with older brothers of friends, and "uncles."  I would NEVER have a male baby sitter,  and I would never let my son babysit with anyone other than his sisters, because he could be accused, even though innocent. Plenty of innocent fun can be had by 11PM, with adult supervision,  and then it is time to go home.

Karen and Lance
Our girls did have sleepovers with friends as things weren't as "sketchy" as they are today, we called them Slumber Parties. The most tiring times were for the parents who were hosting.The girls never seemed to go to sleep, but finally there was quiet. They had some good times together. Later on the children were too old for such things so we didn't have that much of a worry. We were told later that there were some shenanigans that were too much and were glad that we didn't have to deal with them. I think that the best place to have them would be in your own home where the parents could really supervise what is happening all the time and then it wouldn't be that much "fun" for the slumberers, is that a word? Just have something else and let them go home.

Next week's question:
How did you make it to the temple with children under two years old?

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